All This Time.

And I'm back at it... Or at least I'm going to try. I've been writing a lot, but not on here and I'm thinking that perhaps what I have to say is worth something to someone.

As I have been driving around the past several weeks I've repeatedly heard a song on the radio by Brit Nicole called All This Time. Now I'm not a huge fan of Christian radio as A LOT of the songs are super cheesy, but this song has kept coming on and it has hit me deep down EVERY. Time. Here are the lyrics.

I remember the moment
I remember the pain
I was only a girl
But I grew up that day
Tears were falling
I know You saw me

Hiding there in my bedroom
So alone
I was doing my best
Trying to be strong
No one to turn to
That's when I met You

All this time
From the first tear cry
To today's sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there
You were always there
It was You and I
You've been walking with me all this time

Ever since that day
it's been clear to me
That no matter what comes
You will never leave
I know You're for me
And You're restoring


Every heartache and failure
Every broken dream
You're the God who sees
The God who rescued me
This is my story
This is my story

I hear these people asking me
How do I know what I believe?
Well I'm not the same me
And I saw the proof I need
I felt Love I felt Your grace
You stole my heart that day

You've been walking with me all this time

All this time
From the first tear cry
To today's sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there
You were always there
It was You and I
You've been walking with me all this time


So I could leave it here and not say anything else, but there's much more to this than meets the eye. This song takes me back to my freshman year of college at Whitworth College in Spokane, Wa when I first met Jesus flat on my face on my dorm room floor. I was 18 years old. I was broken beyond broken. I was needing Jesus and I was dying. I was spiritually dead, but my body was dying. I had been starving myself for a few years and literally was not bringing in the nutrients my body needed. Some of you who may end up reading this will remember that time... perhaps even better than I can remember it as I was so lifeless that I don't really remember what was going on. In August of 2002 My parents (the saints they are) permitted me to leave, move away, and enter college as I was slowly killing myself. My parents surrendered their control and did the most loving thing they could for me... they let go. I believe that this is a big reason of why I ended up recovering, healing, and emerging from the broken places....my parents loved me enough to entrust me to Jesus. Roughly 5 months into my freshman year I came back to my dorm room one Sunday morning and for the first time saw myself with clear eyes. I was a skeleton. I was lifeless. I remember fixating on the mirror and wondering why I had never seen myself this way. Moments later I heard audibly, "Katie, You are loved. You are cherished. I died for you. I can make you whole." I remember dropping to my knees, tears running down my face, and meeting Jesus in a real way for what I believe was the first time. I knew Jesus, but I never truly KNEW Him. This was remarkable. I was tired of starving myself. Of working diligently to be a better thin girl. You'd never believe how exhausting it is to count calories at every second of the day. So consuming. Jesus offered me rest. Real rest. And healing. He's never left me even when I've turned my back and said, "He's not real. His word isn't true." He remains. He's been walking with me all this time. And when I do have broken dreams, and rough weeks, and really really hard times... I know that He is real. He's loved me beyond my brokenness, He's remained true to me even when I have betrayed Him. He is Legit. I'm not typically too open about this time of my life, but goodness I'm reminded that God is a healer and he is GOOD. Praise be to God. I'm so thankful. Thank you to my friends and family that stuck it out with me...for believing that God would restore me out of the broken places... for believing when I was unable to believe.... for being faithful even when I had nothing left to offer. I am blessed.

annnnd here I am yet another year has passsssssed on by. I have graduated with my Masters, I am working full time as a county social worker... my dream job... and I'm living with wonderful people. I have amazing friends, family, and most of an AMAZING God! He is truly all that matters. He sustains me each day. It is awesome to see how much I've grown over the past year and how I have learned to love myself more and how to truly love others (I had to learn to love me first). It is amazing at how God works through heartache, brokenness, and difficulties to refine us and make us more like Him. Though not everything is going smoothly, it is blessed. I am really thankful for this season of my life and I look forward to what God has next, but I'm soaking up what is in front of me. Thank you Jesus for new life and for new beginnings.

The last post I wrote was 4 months ago. As hard as it is for me to believe... my life has completely changed all over again in the past month. Had this all happened lets say 9 -12 months ago... I would be completely devastated, however God prepared me to feel heartache and brokenness and He allowed it all. I don't believe that He desired for me to feel so much pain, but He did allow it. I know that He prepared me to handle it and because of various things in my past few years I was able to handle it all with a knowledge that my God is bigger and better.... that He protects and that He cares deeply for me. The thing that has not changed since March when I wrote about God's goodness is that HE is still good and I still fully believe that resting in Him is the best place to be. I feel blessed here even if my circumstances suck. I have been reminded that He alone is the one who claims to always love me. He is the only one who is never deceitful. He is the only one who means every word He has said. Though I loved another dearly, I trust that God holds him now. I take each step forward trusting that God knows what I need and will meet my every need better than I could ever imagine. Though you'd never know it by my life... I hate change. I moved recently and I hate getting used to a new place, but newness allows for growth and a starting over of sorts. I'm excited for this next season of life. I have 9 months until I will be done w/ my Masters! I have no idea where I'm going next, but I am up for the new adventure. God I trust You.

It's really a remarkable thing when God catches your attention and you actually hear Him and see Him and recognize all that He has been doing for so long. I have been through a series of ups and downs in the past several years. I have looked for my satisfaction anywhere but Him and wound up feeling the exact emptiness that the Bible speaks of. Through the wise counsel of some people in my life and ultimately the unending Grace that has been poured out on me I have found my way back to my knees in absolute surrender. It is the best place to be afterall. I have found so much Joy and Peace there on my knees. When I get up off of my knees I wander around too much and my curiosity and need for adventure often get the best of me and I'm looking under every bush and behind every tree for what else might be out there. So back to my knees I go. I can still be my adventurous self from my knees and yet my adventures are so much more fulfilling there anyways. I love it! I see the fruit clearly in my life when I am on my knees and I feel much more blessed. God is so amazing! I am learning to stay put and let God bless me here. In surrender I receive blessing. I receive peace. I receive Joy. oh so thankful for this place... for my Sweeet Jesus who Loves me.

Well I suppose it's not too late to start this up again. I am shocked that so much time has passed and on the other hand I haven't had a moment of free time to do anything I enjoy let alone let the world into my mind. I am officially 1/2 way done with Graduate School and I am about to begin my 1st of 3 semesters left. I have been enjoying this journey, but I am overwhelmed by the amount of work that has come along with Graduate School. People who work nearly full time and go to school and complete an internship all at the same time might understand what the chaotic schedule I have looks like. I am even more certain at this point in time that Social Work is the job for me. I love it and people say I'm good at it. I have no idea where I'll go with it, but I am excited to get through school and onto my licensing. Beyond that schedule I am training for yet another race. It has been just over a year since I fractured my pelvis and I am still facing some pain, but I am able to continue to run. I look forward to my weekend long runs and the time to process and worship. It is amazing really. I am hoping to run a race maybe in Sacramento in March, a Tri in July, and then another 1/2 in September. I like having a goal to work towards. Well that's my life in a nutshell right now. God is so abundantly good to me. I have no complaints.

I cannot believe how much I learn on a daily basis. I find that God is teaching me on an ongoing basis. I am blessed beyond belief. I just want to say thank you to everyone for being a support and encouragement. The past months have been incredible. Thank you!

oh & p.s. my nephew is sooo stinkin adorable!!

sooo it's been a long while since i last wrote. Life has been chaotic. I am officially training for my first marathon and I'm having a blast. I enjoy running, but I moreso enjoy the challenge that this is proving to be. I am running with Team in Training and it is incredible. Several of my teammates are cancer survivors and I am so blessed to train alongside of them. Our mileage is slooowly creeping up... we did 8 miles today and uphill with a headwind! yikes! I am learning so much about running and hydration and fueling and form that I am so amazed by our bodies and even more so by the God who made them! It's truly astonishing what we can endure! My race isn't until June 1st, but it seems to be approaching rather quickly. I hopped on board two months ago and I have enjoyed every step of the way! If you want to help support in the fight for cancer and in my fundraising (my goal is $5000) you can donate online at:

http://www.active.com/donate/tntgla/kmitchell

Lots is going on in my life right now and I have been under some attack. I am looking forward to change in the near future, but clinging to the Joy set before me! God is amazing good!