it's monday yet again. that seems to be the way things go... the weekend was good... productive even. i didn't get all that i had planned on doing done, but that is okay. next weekend maybe will have less to do and more time to catch up. school is hectic... it's already week 5... almost half done. it seems like just yesterday i was starting the quarter. guess not. i register for next quarter really soon and i'm excited for those classes. hmmm... i am really tired today. it is rather cold and windy outside and i'm wearing shorts... brrr. at least the sun is out.
i have been thinking about what i believe a lot lately and why and i have been wrestling a lot with ideas about church and salvation and baptism. man i am a little lost. i know that Christ did in fact die for me and i am saved through my faith not through my works... but if Christ dwells in my heart shouldn't i act like it?? if i truly was committed to Christ would the words i say and the way i act follow that?? i thought so. the idea of losing salvation boggles me. i don't know where i stand. i am not struggling in my faith per se, but i am struggling with not knowing about my friends. i have gone to church my whole life... and i still do. it doesn't even seem to be an option to not go... i don't think it makes me a "better" christian, but i do think that out of discipline in my faith i am called to go. are some people not?? i have soo many questions running through my head lately and i would like answers, but since i can't even put them into words very well it is hard to get help. when it comes down to it... these things are rather trivial to me because i cannot force someone to change... i need to live my life like Christ dwells within me before worrying about what others are doing... okay sorry for the massive rambling. i am getting hungry and my wrist is hurting from typing for so long. i'm outta here... blessings friends.