it's sunday. this weekend was good....my college group from 1st pres bakersfield came over to pismo for the weekend and we camped out...kinda....and hung out. it was good to be surrounded by people who i can laugh with and think about memories with. i miss them a lot. didn't think i'd ever miss bakersfield, but in fact i do.... a lot. yesterday we went out and spent an hour alone just us and God and it was so good. i sat on this little plateau overlooking the water and just prayed, memorized isaiah 6:1-8....and sang praises loudly. it was incredible. why don't i do it more often?? i surely need to. Jesus is soo good. i got home today and this is not where i want to be. i don't want to do homework. i want to crawl in my bed and cry.... i am lonely. i am sad. Jesus you are so much better. i cannot succumb to my thoughts. i need to go be with Him. i need to be reminded that i don't have to be "happy" all the time. what does that mean anyways? Jesus was sorrowful. i want joy....not necessarily happiness. i will also go do homework.... it is good to be on top of things and not feel so overwhelmed. what i need to do is just do it.... rather than think about how long it will take. my life doesn't need to be planned out to the minute... i am not in control.... alright God lets do this.... and so you know the biopsych midterm went well. i felt good about it and confident that i did my best. we'll see how it turns out... but for now... no sense in worrying about it, right?? i'm outta here... Jesus correct my heart.... focus it on you and not on my problems, but on you. here's a song for you...

Audience of One - big daddy weave

I come on my knees

To lay down before you

Bringing all that I am

Longing only to know you

Seeking your face

And not only your hand

I find you embracing me

Just as I am



And I lift these songs

To you and you alone

As I sing to you

In my praises make your home



To my audience of one

You are Father, and you are Son

As your spirit flows free,

Let it find within me

A heart that beats to praise you.

And now just to know you more

Has become my great reward

To see your kingdom come

And your will be done

I only desire to be yours,

Lord



So what could I bring

To honor your majesty

What song could I sing

That would move the heart of royalty

And all that I have

Is the life that you’ve given me

So Lord let me live for you

My song with humility



And Lord as the love song

Of my life is played

I have one desire

To bring glory to your name



To my audience of one

You are Father, and you are Son

As your spirit flows free,

Let it find within me

A heart that beats to praise you.

And now just to know you more

Has become my great reward

To see your kingdom come

And your will be done

I only desire to be yours,

Lord



And we lift these songs

To you and you alone

As we sing to you

In our praises make your home



To my audience of one

You are Father, and you are Son

As your spirit flows free,

Let it find within me

A heart that beats to praise you.

And now just to know you more

Has become my great reward

To see your kingdom come

And your will be done

I only desire to be yours,

Lord