hi friends. i'm sitting here at the computer eating the dinner i just made. it's not too bad. the house is quiet tonight....actually it's been quiet for a few weeks now. people have moved out, some have gone home for awhile, others are in and out and i don't see them. i feel like i'm living here alone. since i was a kid i have always been afraid of being home alone. i know that i'm now 21 and that i should be okay with staying alone, but in all reality, i'm not. on top of it all i am in transition. in a week or so i'm moving to another place. summer school is in progress, i started my new job yesterday, and i'm trying to find where i fit in to the social world here in SLO. most of my friends here are now dating each other so i feel like i'm on the outside looking in. i am jealous, i am happy for them, i am lonely, but i rest in knowing that God is my provider and with HIm i'm never alone, really. this has been a long year but also it's gone by incredibly fast. i remember so clearly arriving in SLO last september to unpack my boxes...now i'm repacking those same boxes so i can move. i remember not knowing anyone but my roommates, but now i rarely see them and spend my time at other houses. i remember walking around on campus quite lost, but now it is like home....i know the knooks and crannies. i've spent a lot of time at various churches and college groups trying to find my niche. i have cried, laughed, said stupid things, made others laugh, been embarassed, been prideful, loved others, been loved, stayed up all night, slept all day, cleaned my room, made it messy, made big meals, made small ones, had people over, spent time elsewhere, read a lot, given far too much money to starbucks, studied hard, not studied enough, felt included, felt left out, been healthy, been unhealthy, worshipped God, gave myself glory, made new friends, lost some friends, built old friendships. I have done a lot this year. not all good, but i've learned so much. God is good always.....it's good to reflect and be reminded that God has been faithful and will continue to be!! alrighty friends i love you....back to my food now...