today i feel like a worthless individual. i worry about being a good friend and although i worry i still fail. i say things that i probably should not say and hurt people. i sometimes wish i didn't care so much about people....maybe then it wouldn't hurt when i see people turning the wrong way. i hate when that happens. i am jealous, i want people all to myself and it's stupid really. i am selfish, i do things for myself rather than for others. i hurt people who i love and right now i feel lame. why can't i go and make things right? why can't i talk to people and tell them how much they mean to me? why do i yearn to be appreciated? why do i give up when things get hard? why can i be honest in the way of correcting someone, but i can't tell them how much they mean to me? why do i brush off people who love me when something else comes up? i am confused. i am hurting. i want to cry. i wish i was more understandable and people wouldn't constantly question what i mean. Jesus i need you.....i fall broken before you. i want to want you alone. i do not want to seek appreciation or approval. i need you.