if you didn't know i was bipolar, well i'm sure by reading these it would make sense. i am sad today. i want to go home and not return. i know that tomorrow i will probably feel fine again, but right now it's hard to see any reason for staying. i miss my mom. yes i know that i'm 20 years old and should not be so dependent on her, but she is one of my best friends. i have other friends too, but i miss the ones that i'm closest to and who know me best. the ones whom i can be myself around and who will love me even when i am irrational and say stupid things. college is but 4 or so years of my life and i should enjoy it and just think i get to spend eternity with those amazing people. hmm there's amazing people here too, but i don't tend to think like that. Jesus open my eyes to your beloved people and show me how to have a heart for them like you do. i thought coming here was for me, but instead i am being broken again and again and being reminded that without a savior i am nothing. I want to love like you love.....not just love when its benefitting me.

on a happier note...i just finished a paper.....it's not due untill 11/18! i'm on top of it :)